Study Abroad Student “Pissed Off” At Joe Biden For Abandoning Him in Afghanistan
KABUL–The United States’ hasty retreat from Afghanistan has left an unbelievable mark on the region,
Text Evidence Reveals: Blown Out Kid Made Fourteen Different Lunch Plans Last Night
At around noon this afternoon, fourteen of David McCormick’s friends sat at the cafeteria bewildered:
Message to Graduating Seniors: Please Give Us Money Soon, Also Congrats!
LOS ANGELES- After a truly powerful commencement ceremony, full of average singing and a speech
School Does the Right Thing, Finally Eliminates Water Torture During Disciplinary Board Meetings
LA–After a highly publicized and controversial push from the Parent’s Association, Excelsior Academy has finally
Study Finds Majority of Students Do Better When Allowed to Cheat
LA–A recent study conducted by the failing school newspaper, the Soarer, has revealed that, on
“Visionary” Student Prints Bong From 3D Printer
EXCELSIOR–James Bradowsky, known in the stoner community as “Jbone” reportedly printed a fully functioning bong
School Punts, Creates Designated “Vaping” and “Non-Vaping” Bathrooms
LOS ANGELES–In an attempt to combat the highly publicized vaping epidemic, Excelsior Academy has decided
Softball Team Wins! Or Loses, No One Really Knows
LOS ANGELES–The school’s softball team’s recent end to their season brings up an important question:
Idiot Kid Takes Middle Urinal
Everyone knows the unspoken rules of life. These include keeping your elbows off the table,
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