Cool Kids Catch Heat After Setting “English Imperialism” Party Theme

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LOS ANGELES – Excelsior Academy has found itself embroiled in yet another scandal; a group of popular kids were outed after throwing an English Imperialism-themed homecoming party. Students showed up in traditional colonial garb; they touted top hats, monocles, and disdain for the inferior nations.

Brad “Big Guy” Harden, who dressed as Cecil Rhodes, was questioned by the Honor Board earlier today.

“We were just putting our history knowledge to good use, but I do think that we crossed a line.”

Johnson also stated, “I realized it went too far when in the middle of the party a group of students set out to conquer and divide up my next door neighbor’s land.”

At press time, Dr. Ryland commented, “While we condemn the use of English Imperialism as a party theme, we are proud to see that our students are retaining what they learn in the classroom. Nevertheless, these kids are either gonna have to donate extra to the new building or get expelled because that’s what we do ’round here.”

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